Ruby’s
return to Nanjing
Ruby’s
foster brother Wan Qiang, and is adorable and always smiling wife Jing Jing
were waiting for us at the airport when we arrived, we knew it must be them as
every time the door opened between baggage claim and the arrivals area, I saw a
smiling woman bouncing up and down and waiving flowers at us J. Ruby also caught a glimpse
of her foster brother through the door and the two exchanged very sweet smiles.
Ruby’s Chinese Mom and Dad (her foster parents from age 17 months to age 6 ½)
were waiting for us in the hotel lobby. That first nights meeting was a bit
awkward and strained for all. We agreed to meet again the next afternoon in
their village.
Yesterday
started with a visit to the Nanjing Children’s Welfare Institute. Ruby had two
special teachers in the 5 months she spent there, and they both came in on
their day off to see her. One teacher, a very kind man we remembered from the
day we adopted Ruby, cried as he said goodbye to her. Yesterday his eyes filled
with happy tears when he saw her, “she is so grown up and beautiful now…” were
his first words. We were invited to tour the whole orphanage, Ruby remembered
her old room, and a sink where she lost her tooth J. The Nanjing CWI is a
wonderful place, fore runners in the love, respect, and care of special needs children. An example I hope more
and more CWI’s follow.
And
then there was last night….I have so many thoughts and feelings running through
my head and heart about last nights visit to the small rural village of Fei Hua,
outside Long Tan, about 60 miles outside of Nanjing. When we arrived at the
foster families little compound, they were all waiting to greet us. This dinner
was a major event in the village!
Ruby
has been waiting for this visit for years. She was super nervous and also very
excited. She was worried about the interaction between all 4 parents, she was
worried that there would be awkwardness like the night before; I think she was
worried about feeling split loyalty as well. When we first arrived, they had
candies and treats for all of our kids. They gave us a tour of their courtyard
home, and there were framed pictures of Ruby (and one of all of us) everywhere!
They had more many more pictures of Ruby then of their son J. The kids played in the
little courtyard and snacked on treats, and Mike and I requested that the four
parents sit and talk for a few minutes (through our translator of course). Mike
and I shared how fortunate we all are to have this relationship, to have been
sitting together at that table... He shared that we all love Ruby so deeply,
and we are all her parents. They asked many questions about her life, looked
through all the pictures we brought, watched her playing with her siblings and
saw how much Mike and I love her, and they totally changed… They had been so
worried about her for the last few years, rumor has it in their village that
children who are adopted are not treated and loved as a child, but more as a
servant. They said now they can sleep at night again, now they see, and know how
loved Ruby is, and what a good life she has, and they are truly happy. This
showed. We shared that that now we are all one family, through Miss Ruby J, they cried, we cried, and
we instantly became one big family… Awkwardness gone! Ruby came out and saw all
four of her parents so close, and we told her we are all one family now, and
she cried huge tears of relief and love, we shared a group hug that was filled
with so much love for our sweet Ruby, and our new found family.
And
then we feasted! More and more and more dishes were served (all cooked by the
wonderful smiling Jing Jing) and Xing Ye (Chinese Dad) cracked open the Chinese
rice wine. It was like and evening
with long lost dear friends and family.
Ruby’s first best from the village came to see her and they were so cute
together, despite the language barrier. Xing Ye was so excited he said, he has
never even spoken to a westerner. He didn’t know what we would be like, he was
so happy because he said we are all just the same, and he proceeded to pour us
all rice wine and say Cheers to each other for the rest of the night. He was
the happy “Cheers “ man, so cute and fun! The night lasted a couple of more
hours, kids played, parents and many villagers sat around the dinner and then
Mah Jong table and chatted. We all felt so happy there, It was an amazing
feeling and I never wanted it to end…. But, we had a long trip back to the city
so the end had to come… Leaving was hard, very hard… So many heartfelt tears,
so many emotions… Ruby and her Chinese Mom hugged and hugged, then her foster
Mom came and hugged me, a really loving long hug. She put my arms around Ruby,
hers around both of us, hugged us hard again then told us to go, with her
blessing and love…. So many hearts healed, most importantly, Ruby’s....
Ruby remembers losing a tooth in this sink :)
Ruby's teachers at the Nanjing CWI who came in on their day off to see her.
I picture in their dining room of Ruby and her first best friend
So wonderful for them to reconnect all these years later!
Meeting of the parents, and breakthrough :)
Ruby and all four of her parents
Ruby and her Chinese family, Mama He Lan, Baba Xing Ye, brother Wan Qiang, and wonderful smiling sister in law Jing Jing!
Ruby's new, expanded, family!
"Cheers", I will smile and think of him every time I hear that word for the rest of time!
Playing in the courtyard, so proud of all my kids, they just adapt so well and find fun in every situation.
